Kip and Emma at Northwood Vlog Entry 8

The one with Key and the promise of girl Kip

Keystone Horsemanship Habits.

So I'm re-reading (ok listening) to a book called the Power Of Habit. Very intersting stuff. I was thinking, of course, about how it relates to horsemanship.

The author Charles Duhigg talks about keystone habits. The ones that once established create a cascade effect and can reshape our whole lives. An example of a keystone habit is exercising regularly. Even once a week. This one activity seems to cause people to eat more healthfully, to smoke less and even to be on time more!

My best buddy Beth and I have long been using habits to help us progress in our horsemanship. There are many people who dream of success with horses. They can talk a ton about it, belong to all the right clubs, read a pile of books, watch a million dvds and yet...somehow they don't get anywhere. We really really didn't want to fall into that trap.

Our most famous habit forming system was the gold star program. We kept it simple. If you get on your horse, even for 5 seconds, you get a gold star. We just tried to fill up our calendars with them. We focused exclusively on this one action.

It worked. It was what is know as a "small win". The more of these we racked up, the more we became accustomed to the pattern of making time to ride our horses and feeling successful doing it. We weren't measuring success by our ability to do anything fancy. Just get on our horses. If we did this we were successful.

The thing is...if you get on your horse, I mean, you're already up there right? Might as well get something done. I think we were both shocked at the wave that carried us to our Parelli Level 3, off to exciting courses, riding in excellent clinics and doing some of the things we'd always dreamed of with our ponies.

Its like a virus when you hit upon the right habits. The action spreads. Brilliant really when you think about it. Just do one thing and it will cause you to do a whole bunch of other things that you've been wanting to do. The hard things become easier and then easy things become effortless.

So this year, we decided we'd start a 12 Week Horsemanship Challenge. Beth just got a new horse and I have one that I've been meaning to get to. So again this time we kept it simple. Spend 50 hours with one horse. Saddle them 40 times and bridle them 40 times. Plus load them into the trailer 25 times. These can seem like such small things. It can also seem like cheating to pull your horse out of its stall at 9pm saddle them, bridle them, undress them and kiss them goodnight. But we know better.

The habits we are creating are precious. They are carving out extra horse time in our lives. They are proving and prioritizing our goals into real tangible actions. We designed this challenge with Keystone Horsemanship Habits in mind and we think they'll have that cascade effect. It ended up that 41 people joined us in this challenge and I just can't wait to see the results that we all get with our ponies.

Undemanding Time: Money in the bank.

Ah winter. Its cloudy and rainy, the days are short and there is mud everywhere at Northwood. The upside is that there are not that many chores to do or projects to start or the looming pressure of "the rain is coming!" Its a perfect time to rejuvenate and study. I suppose that's what winter is supposed to be anyway. As I've been realizing these last few weeks, it also ideal for spending some undemanding time with my horses.

I forgot how critical undemanding time is to a relationship.

Recently a few new horses arrived in my barn and it illustrated to me how deep my relationship is with Nigel and Lil. I mean, we know each other. That feeling of familiarity doesn't just magically appear. It is developed over mutually shared time. That closeness is easy to take for granted until a comparison is available. The new horses have really done me that favor.

Relationships have a bank account. Buck and I were just talking about this in November. Beth and I refer to it a lot. In fact, I think my friend Aaron (one of the smartest guys I know) talked about this with me in reference to marriage way back in the day. Gotta have deposits. Too many withdrawals and the whole account gets shut down. Plenty of deposits and you can "cover" a challenging moment or a mistake. (I make lots of mistakes as I'm trying to become a horseman so this comes in very handy.)

Horses bond with whom they spend the most time. And for those of us that aren't doing a cowboying job on our horses, this can put us at a disadvantage because our horses spend more time with other horses than they do with us. I personally will not be able to compete with my pony's heardmates but I will be able to mitigate the deficit by banking some hours just hanging out. While its raining, while its dark and while its cold, I can bundle up, tuck my tablet or magazine under my arm and head back down to the barn.

I forgot how much fun it is actually. Especially if I do have enough clothes on and my toes are warm. I love horses! Just listening to them chew and breath is relaxing. And of course, they smell wonderful.

First Entry In Kip and I's Video Blog